- Rueckert-Hartman College for Health Professions
Service Learning
I WAS RAPED BY FATHER ADAM BUNNEL.
REGIS COLLEGE UNIVERSITY
WEST HALL
1986
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Friday, August 8, 2014
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Today.
PTSD/ Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: by definition.
I WAS JUST A KID!
Posttraumatic stress disorder
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
"PTSD" redirects here. For the album by Pharoahe Monch, see P.T.S.D. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
| Posttraumatic stress disorder | |
|---|---|
| Classification and external resources | |
A mask, painted by a U.S. Marine who attendedart therapy to relieve posttraumatic stress disorder symptoms
| |
| ICD-10 | F43.1 |
| ICD-9 | 309.81 |
| DiseasesDB | 33846 |
| MedlinePlus | 000925 |
| eMedicine | med/1900 |
| MeSH | D013313 |
Posttraumatic stress disorder[note 1] (PTSD) may develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as sexual assault, warfare, serious injury, or threats of imminentdeath that result in feelings of intense fear, horror, and powerlessness.[1] The diagnosis may be given when a group of symptoms, such as disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories of the event, and hyperarousal, continue for more than a month after the occurrence of traumatic event.[1]
Most people having experienced a traumatizing event will not develop PTSD.[2] Women are more likely to experience higher impact events, and are also more likely to develop PTSD than men.[3] Children are less likely to experience PTSD after trauma than adults, especially if they are under ten years of age.[2] War veterans are commonly at risk for PTSD.
PTSD has become a reality to so many people. I'm not going to take it upon myself to define, I'll let the experts do that!
Just know, you don't have to suffer anymore. There is hope. And you can be who you were meant to be. But, it will take work, drive, and dedication.
When a person suffers a great tragedy the brain adapts to the trauma and is "rewired" so to speak in defense. Unfortunately the brain is damaged by all accounts and to heal requires significant assistance. The brain needs to re-learn how to return to it's original state. Picture how you go to work each day. Over time, you've learned a certain route and can drive jt eyes closed. Your route becomes automatic... When a person is traumatized (and it's all relevant... ) the brain emits certain sparks and is forever changed. That route you once took is no longer safe and you go another way. It may be longer, it may be more troublesome, and it may become scary as if you were all alone in the middle of nowhere at nighttime with your car battery dead and not a sight nor sound anywhere in any direction.
That is what many of us feel. We feel all alone, and scared.
PTSD was termed a result of war mental illness, but has quickly adapted to encompass many traumatic events. From those of us who suffered at the hands of 9/11, extreme weather conditions, the loss of a loved one, or a victim of violence/abuse. Post traumatic stress disorder is real, and it cripples!
I have been suffering like so many people. This is my story.
- At age 12, I was raped by a man 26 my senior. He was 38 (Al Deome), and I was 12. I see kids at age 12 and it's horrifying to think that a child that age can be sexualized. But, the world is scary, and it has bred many a horror.
- At age 16 I attended college and was raped again by a priest, (Father Adam Bunnell) when I sought solace one would think could from a priest. ***** Many gay men have turned to the priesthood to hide their sexuality. It's when unmarried men can hide. It gives them an excuse to not being married. Homosexuality has only been socially accepted as "normal" within the past 15 years. And many to this day still cannot accept that a person of the same sex could love another of the same gender in a partnership capacity. Still, today when it is socially acceptable to be gay, and kids as young as grade school don't even have to "come-out," many people simply cannot come to terms with their true feelings. Becoming a priest has been an answer to many many men of the cloth. All I know is that this priest who manipulated me into believing was a friend and had my best interest, told me many frightening truths. For example, there were a handful of priests who were "out" to each other and would congregate at the beginning of each new school year and debate which male freshmen were "the cutest," and who was going to meet who first. Many years later I would then go through cards and letters that had been tucked away and after re-reading them I was able to identify them as love letters. At the time of receipt, I was too blind at even a suggestion of anything more than a desire of friendship. I'm sick at the thought of their reality. While many may claim a 16/17 year old is an adult. I beg otherwise. AN adult is someone who has learned life lessons and can take care of themselves in the real world. When your mom is still doing your laundry or you need to ask dad for the car keys, you are still a child.
I was a kid!
IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK, TO NOT HAVE PEDOPHILE PRIEST's ABUSE US???
Shame on you Regis University (College) , DENVER Police Department.
I was raped my freshman year of college, by Father Adam Bunnell in West Hall, Regis University, Campus January 1986.
September 26, 1986 I attempted suicide as a result of deep seeded guilt, horror, humiliation, and embarrassment. My attempt had left me with a broken neck (c3 & c4 broken vertibrae), a shattered leg, and shattered nose. It stole a whole year from me!
It all started when I was having relationship issues and had feelings I had never dealt with. At Regis, the priest are very friendly (I was raped by Fr. Adam Bunnell, and my room-mate Pat was abused by Fr. Michael Tueth.. Fr. Michael Tueth was transferred as a result and many years later I would find him trolling the streets of New York.....) and feeling safe and trusting, I finally voiced my inner demons- something I carried around for 5years... I was molested by Al Deome 126 Box Mill Rd. Boxborough, MA 01719 at the age of 12. My priest comforted me and gained my trust. However, I was a little taken back by his comments. Fr. Adam Bunnell said that the reason for my rape was actually my fault, that I was responsible for the rape, and secretly wanted to act on "feeling" that I couldn't accept....
I will not dignify his manipulative sociopathic words, with a response. I will however, state. HE WAS DEEPLY, DEEPLY WRONG!
After baring my horrible dark secret, I first felt liberated as if a 5 ton weight had been taken off my shoulders. I was a happy go lucky guy- I was friends with as many seniors as I was freshmen, and even dated the hostess girl in the school. Peggy Parker! (I still have the movie stub from our first date. I then began a lifelong love affair with Eileen- who would steal my heart for it's duration!!
But, back to the story.. One night I was at an off-campus party and was drinking heavily- as most college kids do...... and apparently I became too inebriated to remember my departure. However, I do remember waking up, on campus in West Hall NAKED in Father Adam Bunnell's room. I didn't remember leaving the party, I don't remember how I got to campus, and I certainly don't remember the HORRID details. I do however remember what Fr. Adam Bunnell had said had happened, and through recent PTSD treatment I am beginning to remember actual details.
In 1995, I reached out to Regis University, and Detective Alonso of The Denver Police Department and stating that I was raped at Regis University on Campus in West Hall the Spring of 1986. The lurid details were cloudy as I had blocked out such detail. However, with the birth of my little boy, I had started to develop incredible anxiety, fears of my rape happening again, and have become easily startled at an abrupt sound, or a touch- anything unexpected actually. When easily startled, an incredible fear overwhelms me and gets me so on edge I physically cannot breathe.... The severity of my "as a result" actions started gradually over the times since my rape, but hadn't become unmanageable until after the birth of my boy. It's only been within the past year that Columbia University Hospital had diagnosed me with PTSD with a severe anxiety disorder. I'm not sure if I'm relieved, if I'm angry, if I'm scared or what I actually feel about my diagnosis. All I know is that I'm not at my best level. I am broken. and I am not the man I'm supposed to be.
I will however state that the compassion and empathy I have is learned behavior and had it not been for breaking my neck, I wouldn't have learned life's greatest lesson- humanity. Humanity and the feeling of pride for my life's dedication towards service. I wake every day with a mission of improving the lives of others.... and how to best secure that what had happened to me DOESN'T happen to another.
THIS IS MY STORY and I HOPE it will help.
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